Adventure Into Developing A Conscious Marriage:
Doing the Exercises
Making a firm commitment at the beginning of the process will help you overcome any potential
resistance. Take the time now to examine your priorities. How Important to you is creating a more loving,
supportive relationship? Are you willing to take part in a sometimes difficult process of self-growth? If you
are, take out a separate sheet of paper and write a statement indicating your willingness to participate. You
may wish to use words like the following:
Because our relationship is very important to us, we are making a commitment to increase our awareness
of ourselves and each other and to acquire and practice new relationship skills. Toward this end, we agree to
do all the exercises in a careful, conscientious manner.
As you work on the exercises, keep in mind these two cardinal rules:
1. The information you gather in the process of doing the exercises is designed to educate you and
your partner about each other's needs. Sharing this information does not obligate you to meet
those needs.
2. When you share your thoughts and feelings with each other, you become emotionally vulnerable.
It is important that you use the information you gain about each other in a loving and helpful
manner.
Suggested Ten Counselling Sessions Time Line
First Session: Exercise 1 (Establishing A Relationship Vision)
Second Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision (Exercise 1)
New material: Exercises 2-6 (The Personal Paradigm)
Third Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision
New material: Exercise 7 (Mirroring: Developing The Art Of Conversation)
Fourth Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision
New material: Exercise 8 (No-Exit Decision)
Fifth Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision
Review the need to close additional exits
New material: Exercise 9 (Re-Romancing)
Sixth Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision
Review the need to close additional exits
Continue with 2—3 caring behaviours a day
New material: Exercises 10-11 (Re-Connecting)
Seventh Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision
Review the need to close additional exits
Continue with 2—3 caring behaviours a day
Continue to give surprises and engage in high-energy pleasurable activities
New material: Exercise 12 (Stretching and Growing)
Eighth Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision
Review the need to close additional exits
Continue with 2—3 caring behaviours a day
Continue to give surprises and engage in high-energy pleasurable activities
Continue with 3—4 behaviour changes a week
New material: Exercise 13 -14 (Container Days)
Ninth Session: Read or recite Relationship Vision
Review the need to close additional exits
Continue with 2—3 caring behaviours a day
Continue to give surprises and engage in high-energy pleasurable activities
Continue with 3—4 behaviour changes a week
New material: Exercise 15 (Personal Integration)
Tenth Session:
Read or recite Relationship Vision
Review the need to close additional exits
Continue with 2—3 caring behaviours a day
Continue to give surprises and engage in high-energy pleasurable activities
Continue with 3—4 behaviour changes a week
New material: Exercise 16-17 (Enrich & Forgive - Visualizing Love)
Subsequent Optional Sessions:
Read or recite Relationship Vision
Review the need to close additional exits
Continue with 2—3 caring behaviours a day
Continue to give surprises and engage in high-energy pleasurable activities
Continue with 3—4 behaviour changes a week
Read Exercise 16
New material: Add additional caring behaviours and behaviour changes as they occur to you.
For Further Information Contact:
The CrossRoads Counselling Group
3921-3rd Avenue
Port Alberni, British Columbia
V9Y 4G3
Canada
Phone: 1-250-720-0316
Fax: 1-250-720-0316
eMail: Dr. V. R. (Brick) Saunderson
